Playing on Team Evil XI is POT, LUCIFER, CALIGULA, RIPPER (as in Jack), IMPALER (as in Vlad the), HITLER, MACBETH (as in Lady), HYDE, KLEBB (as in Rosa), AMIN, CATCHER (as in The Child).

On Team Good XI is CLAUS (as in Santa), MORE (as in Sir Thomas), MOORE (as in Bobby), GORDON (as in Flash), ROBIN (as in Christopher), GOD, ASSISI, JEKYLL, POPPINS, TERESA, M.K.GANDHI.

Magic Mouse (69) : If it’s got ‘magic’ in the product name, it has to be good. The world’s first Bluetooth-enabled multi-touch mouse will be on my desk soon.

Motorola Droid for Verizon (199+) : Time made their list of Gadgets of the Year and it looks like the Droid came out on top. If you’re like me and have an existing contract with Verizon, expect to pay an amusing amount to get your hands on one of these.

Air Jordan Jordan XI Space Jam (175) : Perhaps the most anticipated Jordan release in years is conveniently going to be released on the 23rd of December. If the sneakers make your list you may want to include a side-note explaining that said buyer should plan on arriving to the shoe store early and can expect a line.

Petzl Tikka Plus 2 Headlamp (40) : There were at least 3 times last year when I thought , “man, I really wish I had a headlamp right now.” Never again.

Cookin’ with Coolio: 5 Star Meals at a 1 Star Price (16) : I don’t expect this to be as helpful as it is entertaining. Coolio continues to live in a gangster’s paradise by writing cookbooks, containing his self-described “ghetto gourmet” dishes.

nook (259) : If you like to read, the nook is supposed to be the shit. “The world’s most advanced ebook reader.” Sold!

Stormy Kromer Hat (30) : “George “Stormy” Kromer was a semi-pro ballplayer and railroad engineer who always lost his hat to the gusts that blew through his locomotive. So he asked his wife, Ida, to put needle and thread to one of his old baseball caps. The “Kromer” they created in 1903 is now legendary for its comfort, warmth, durability… and grip when the wind blows.” I just copied that from the patch inside my hat. You should get one.

Netflix Account (9 a month) : Unlimited DVD rentals and movies streaming instantly to your computer and TV. Best gift ever.

Andis Outliner II Trimmer (72) : You can’t always make it to the barbershop. I haven’t been in 5 years now.

Suck UK Smoking Mittens (25) : Remember kids smoking is not big or clever and it WILL kill you, but if you want to die you may as well die with warm hands!

JGoods Sneaker Restoration Kit (35) : Because I couldn’t let you escape without a shameless ploy for the hottest selling gift sure to make anyone’s holiday season one they won’t soon forget.

There you have it. My Holiday… fuck its difficult not to use ‘Christmas’. This is my Christmas list/Holiday Gift Guide, take it or leave it.

Check out the wikireader.com for more information and watch one of the best commercials I have seen in a while.

When the teaser trailer leaked last Thursday, there seemed to be a lot of “WTF’s” sweeping the internet. What are these blue things, what is this movie about, why is everything so bizarre looking. I had some of those questions myself. After seeing the sneak preview though, I will see this movie in theaters. And I HAVE to figure that is the response of just about everyone else who saw the footage.

Why? What happened in the preview that convinced me? Some plot device that explained everything in a nice little package? Glorious blue alien titties? No. IT WAS THE FUCKIN’ 3D, MAN.

Jesus H. Christ. I’ve seen shit in 3D before. And it’s been intriguing, but kind of gimmicky. (Shit flying out at you and all that jazz.) The 3D Jimmy Cameron is utilizing in this movie though–it’s goddamn incredible. Using some type of IMAX glasses (that I truly have no idea how they work, but that’s probably just a function of stupidity), you are immersed in this movie. In the footage we saw, rather than knives flying out at you and the audience gasping, you feel as though you are a part of what’s happening onscreen. There is no doubt in my mind that every single person in that theater was thinking to themselves “Holy shitballs.”

I have a girlfriend who, when the topic of “Star Wars” or “Lord of the Rings” or anything remotely science-fictiony comes up, automatically defers to the statement: “I don’t watch that nerdy shit.” She was with me for this preview, and don’t kid yourself–this movie is about as sci-fi nerdy as it gets. Afterwards, she was pretty much awestruck. You just can’t help but be sucked into the story. There was a chase scene between the character that is (presumably) the “hero” of this movie and whom you know pretty much next to nothing about, and some wild alien wildebeest insect. And just because of how intense and how involved you feel with what is taking place onscreen, you can’t help but watch it on the edge of your seat. You want the guy to escape, you want the insect to get fucked up. Just amazing stuff.

As for the plot, the only footage we saw was from the first half of the movie, so everything I said in my original post about this movie is still basically everything I know. This statement, however: “Word is the footage shown at Comic-Con did look very cool, but didn’t necessarily set the world on fire in terms of the technical aspects” is complete and utter bullshit. Cameron INVENTED cameras and technology for the sole purpose of filming this movie, and after seeing what portions of that end result looked like…good goddamn.

Based on the experience alone, this movie is gonna be straight up heat rocks. Do I know if the dialogue is going to be profound? No. Do I know if the character development is going to be fully realized? No. But I do know that it’s going to look  like no other movie that’s ever been made before and visually…it’s going to blow your head out your asshole. And that is enough to get me in the theater opening weekend.

1.  Venice’s Seaport

2.  The Mexican Government

3.  Kid Cudi

4.  Eggplant

5.  Rory McInnes

6.  Blackberry Niagra

7.  Tsutomu Yamaguchi

8.  imeem.com

9.  Lebron James

10.  Larry Fishburne

Stay Jazzy.

January 20^th: Inauguration of a one man terror cell (president elect Barrack Obama).   Over 1 million people are expected to be in attendance in DC where tickets are currently going for 5 figures.  Obama will be sworn in as the 44th president of the United States and the first African American.  For anyone apprehensive about the big day, check out this video and you should feel better : Black President (Remix).

January 26th: Collections of “extreme pornography” will be made illegal in the UK. . .  U-S-A!  U-S-A!

February 12th: Darwin Day; the 200th anniversary of the birth of Charles Darwin.  To commemorate the genius of Charles they have created this silly 2 pound piece depicting his head and a chimpanzee from which he evolved.  This is the ideal gift for anybody interested in natural history and Charles Darwin; or as an offering at church.

April 25th: NFL Draft.  Look for the lions to shatter someones dream by drafting them to the worst team in NFL history and turning them into a bust.

July 22nd: Total solar eclipse. The longest lasting total solar eclipse of the 21st century will be visible in Bangladesh, Bhutan, China, India, Japan, Kiribati, Marshall Islands, Myanmar, and Nepal. Time to start saving up those frequent flyer miles.

August 21: Final Destination: Death Trip 3D : Holy shit, shot in High definition Fusion digital 3D. There are only four of these  prototype cameras in the world. The behind the scenes look, here, leads me to believe that I have a 34% chance of leaving the theater without shitting my pants.  Can you imagine the terror of  a flaming car flying at your face while you’re working on a hand job in the back row?

October 2 : The host city of the 2016 Summer Olympics will be announced at the 121st Session (which will also be the XIIIth Olympic Congress) of the International Olympic Committee to be held in Copenhagen, Denmark. Michael Jordan has become the unofficial spokesman for Chicago’s Bid.  Things are looking good.

“Freejacks” : In 2009, time travel technology allows people to be snatched from the past just prior to the time of their certain demise.  Those known as “Freejacks” are those who escape at the moment of their death, and are pursued by bounty hunters. EMILIO!!!

June 25th: NBA Draft.  6’8” 245 pound power forward and stud out of Poplar Bluff, MO will be drafted to an NBA team (Think Josh McRoberts). It will also be interesting to see what all-star the Timberwolves draft before deciding to trade him for some schmuck and  cash.  (Refer to Brandon Roy, OJ Mayo, and Mario Chalmers for recent examples)

Detox? Could it finally be coming?  I hate to even bring it up but lets keep our fingers crossed.

Honorable mention:  G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra, Jay Z: The Blueprint 3, Air Jordan 2009 , Windows 7,  Lil Wayne Rock album?.

The reason I don’t have a number in the above title is that the way I am going to construct this list is by category, rather than everything separated out. So I’m not really sure what the final count of underrated things is going to be, since I am just gonna run through some stuff and see where it takes me.

First off, I’d like to say that doing an “overrated” list was much easier, simply because I am a hater. I love hating on stuff. It’s a lot of fun. So to big up something…well, that takes more work. But I am a slave to my blog-craft, so let’s get down to business.

Movies.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall. For plenty of reasons not under its control, I feel like FSM really got overshadowed by “Pineapple Express”. PE is an awesome movie, but FSM is just as good, if not better. For me personally, I thought it blended the ridiculous Apatow humor with a lot of heart. Jason Segel definitely should be able to get some more screenwriting work for himself off the strength of the script as well–well-written, interesting, out of the ordinary characters. And unlike some of the previous Apatow-produced stuff, the female characters were actually pretty believable and not raging bitches or completely nuts.

The Bank Job. When “The Bank Job” came out, I knew absolutely nothing about it. To be honest, it looked kinda like one of those lame heist movies that come out every year or so and usually have a throwaway Edward Norton role and maybe Don Cheadle mixed up in it. However, I heard good things about it, so when I finally saw it…I was fucking impressed. A thoroughly entertaining movie, starring the almost always excellent Jason Statham. (Go here to read about Patton Oswalt inserting Statham into all of the 2008 movies up for awards.) It ain’t gonna win any awards, but the whole 70s aspect and the fact that it is pretty accurately based on a true story turned this from some bootleg “Italian Job” into one of the better caper movies I’ve seen in the past few years.

Run, Fat Boy, Run. Yup, you’re seeing that correctly. This got awful reviews, came out in a couple hundred theaters, and was pretty much forgotten about ever since it hit DVD shelves. However, if you like Simon Pegg IN THE LEAST…you will find something to laugh about in this movie. Much better than it was given credit for, and David Schwimmer directed it, so you know…that’s something too.

TV.

Fringe. It’s pretty safe to say that I am a J.J. Abrams fanboy, but whatever the fuck ever…the guy makes good TV. I was pretty on the fence about this for the first few episodes, but as this season has gone on, it’s gotten WAY better. Similar to “Lost”, there are a lot of unanswered questions that get brought up every episode, but this is a really well-made show that is deserving of some props. Not only that, but the character of Walter Bishop is probably one of my favorite people on television right now. The guy is batshit crazy and totally hilarious.

Survivorman. Bear Grylls is a pussy. There. I said it. Les Stroud of “Survivorman” makes Bear Grylls look like Lance Bass. When people talk survivor shows, they always talk about “Man vs. Wild” and my boy Les gets no props. That shit has to end. What makes him 10x more badass than Grylls? He goes out into the wilderness for 7 days. BY HIMSELF. No cameramen…he films everything himself, and does it incredibly well. No nights spent in the Hilton. He’s in the Rockies, or the desert, or the Arctic totally alone. And he’s just gotta try to survive, any way he can. Shit goes wrong? There’s no safety team standing 5 feet away from him that can help him. Stroud is the man, and seeing as how 2008 saw the ending of the “Survivorman” series, I thought I would take this moment to give the guy serious, serious props. If you see this on Discovery HD, watch it for 5 minutes. I guarantee you’ll be hooked.

Music.

Girl Talk live shows. I was introduced to Girl Talk this year, and was also fortunate enough to be able to go to one of his concerts this fall. One of the greatest decisions of my life. I’ve never had more fun at a concert. And I’ve been to some pretty fucking sweet concerts. I’m not sure if it’s the fact that all you’re expecting is a guy onstage with a couple laptops or what it is, but the energy level is absolutely incredible. People are able to come up on stage and just party with guy and he doesn’t even care. You sweat your ass off, and it doesn’t matter, because everyone else is doing the same thing. I will not miss a Girl Talk show that ever comes around my way from now until the day I’m not cool enough to go to them anymore.

(You were probably expecting more in this section, but by and large, I thought a lot of shit came out this year. And the albums that didn’t suck already have gotten the props they deserve.)

Everything Else.

profootballtalk.com. 85% of everything I learned this season came from this site. Amaze your friends by knowing about anything that goes down in the NFL WAY before they do.

Google Android. Barcode scanners. Retina-scanning security software. Video capability(!?). Android got a lot of publicity this year, and it still deserved more. I don’t think we’ve even cracked the tip of the iceberg in terms of what Android is gonna be capable of. Open source FTW, and Apple can suck my nugget pouch.

Summit Winter Ale. Most of the people who read this blog are probably college kids, and thus drink shitty beer (that’s just how it is, I’m not knocking it), but once you’re out of college and you’re looking class things up a little bit…holla atcha boy. Summit’s Winter Ale is delicious (and 5.9% abv). So delicious, in fact, you may end up drinking the majority of a 12-pack at a friends’ Christmas party and forcing your girlfriend to take you home way earlier than she wanted to leave. (That happened to a…buddy of mine.) A rating of 74 on ratebeer.com?! Bullshit.

What Would Tyler Durden Do. Get the celebrity gossip and tabloid pics that you crave without sacrificing your masculinity. Which is an important thing. Almost as important as getting the celebrity gossip and tabloid pics that you crave.

Jujubees. As I sit here, simultaneously typing and seeing how many Jujubees I can fit in my mouth at one time (67), I realize that these are one of the best candies on the planet and they constantly get overshadowed by their much lamer big brother, Jujyfruit. Jujubees are superior in so many ways. They are much smaller and not as gummy, so they don’t get stuck to your teeth. They pack just as much flavor into a tiny little piece than Jujyfruit fits into a giant lime or lemon or whatever shapes those come in. Also, you can fit SO many in your mouth, resulting in just an incredible flavor explosion.

And now that I just wrote a paragraph on Jujubees…I realize it’s time to call it a list. And a good day to you, sir.