Creativity is King

You thought I was gooooooone…

/shining down

So I’m back after a LENGTHY hiatus. Where was I and why was I gone so long? Let’s just say a very embarrassing video came out featuring me and I needed to lie low for a little while to let the heat die down.

No, not this one.

THIS one.

(Trust me…if one more person asks me about that damn remote control, I’m gonna FUCKING LOSE IT.)

But that’s all neither here nor there. The 2009 Comic-Con went down this past weekend, and JGoods asked me to write about it. So here’s the skinny.

Let me begin by saying: I was planning on going to Comic-Con this year using a few leftover dollars from the Creativity is King discretionary checking account, but I ended up blowing it all on a new pair of shoes. Sorry, loyal blog readers. I’m as embarrassed as you are.

Anywho, after checking up on all the coverage that occurred over the course of the weekend, I feel like I am as qualified (if not MORE qualified) to talk about 2009 Comic-Con than anyone who was actually there. Did you realize that 87% of the attendees of 2009 Comic-Con were bloggers? I sure didn’t!

I just made that statistic up, but my guess is that it’s not too far off. Isn’t the only reason people do ANYTHING nowadays is so they can blog/tweet/myfacespace about it? Actually, scratch that. You don’t actually need to do anything to entertain people via any of those channels. Note this recent tweet by Ashton Kootcher (sic):

Friday night… Sigh. Ahhhhhhhhh

Now if that doesn’t stimulate the ol’ mindgrapes, I don’t know what will. But I digress.

Comic-Con 2009. This past weekend. Here’s what you need to know, in the form of questions “asked” by people who don’t actually exist.

Q: NJG, everyone keeps talking about this “Avatar” movie. What the hell is it and why should I care about it?

-M. Hunt, Mobile, AL

A: The reason why every nerd wants you to care about it is because it is directed by James Cameron. And he directed “Terminator” AND “Terminator 2″. And “Titanic”. And “True Lies”. And all four of those movies made a shit ton of money and were all pretty entertaining, Celine Dion songs excluded. (He also made a bunch of movies about discovering large boats on the bottom of the ocean, but those made less money and didn’t feature Jamie Lee Curtis stripteases or Kate Winslet titty-balls.) Cameron has been working on “Avatar” for some ungodly amount of time and it’s supposed to revolutionize the world of 3D movie-making. Word is the footage shown at Comic-Con did look very cool, but didn’t necessarily set the world on fire in terms of the technical aspects. A quick rundown of the plot: set in the future, humans are on a hostile planet, they get plugged into shit and are able to take control of big blue aliens to help navigate said planet. (Now you don’t even need to see the movie!) But anyway…this will continue to be a very hotly anticipated movie from now until it gets released. Hope that answers your question, Mr. Hunt.

Here’s some concept art of that big blue alien btw:

Q: NJG, is “Kick-Ass” going to…kick ass? ; )

-Llewellyn Buckingham, New York, NY

A: Well, Mr. (Ms.?) Buckingham…it sure as hell sounds like it is. First off, it’s being directed by Matthew Vaughn, whose “Layer Cake” is a fucking excellent take on the London gangster film. Secondly, in case you were unaware of the plot, here it is: guy who has no superpowers decides he wants to be a superhero and ends up finding out…he’s not the only one who does this. This movie is supposed to have some pretty incredible, not to mention incredibly violent, action scenes. (Quick sidetrack: a bit of viral marketing for this film that has been on YouTube since the comics started coming out.) And speaking of comics, this movie is a bit of interesting case: the script was written and the movie started filming before all of the comics in the series even were released. Also of note: Christopher Mintz-Plasse has a large role in this. You can’t go wrong when McLovin is involved…that’s just a rule of Hollywood. (I mean…most of the time.) I am probably more excited about this one than just about anything from Comic-Con this year.

Q: NJG, they’re making another Iron Man?! The first one SUCKED!

-C. Bale, Los Angeles, CA

A: First off, guy…if you thought “Iron Man” sucked, I got news for you…it did not. It was a completely different tone than “The Dark Knight” (as that is the most obvious comparison), but it was entertaining as FUCK. I can only assume you’re trying to get me fired up, because there’s no way ANYONE thought “Iron Man” sucked. But yes…there will be another “Iron Man” and it sounds like it’s shaping up pretty well. I don’t know any of the history of “Iron Man” but this one is gonna have Black Widow (ScarJo), Whiplash (my boy Mickey Rourke), and War Machine (which is an alternate Iron Man suit with way more weapons that gets inhabited by Rhodey, who is Don Cheadle in the place of money-grubbing Terence Howard). Jon Favreau is back directing this, so pretty much the entire world is expecting great things.

Q: NJG, I got a two parter for ya: 1) I never saw the first Tron–should I give a shit about the second one? 2) Why ARE they making a second one?

-L. Leftfoot, Atl, GA

A: 1) No. 2) I don’t know.

Q: I always kind of envisioned that a Tim Burton directed “Alice in Wonderland” would be creepy as fuck. What say you?

-R. Incmikowski, Minneapolis, MN

A: I agree with you. I can’t say I am really excited about the Tim Burton “AiW”, but I will definitely check it out. I can’t say I would mind too much if Tim Burton kind of just rolled through every popular children’s movie ever made and remade them into nightmare fuel. That seems like a fairly cool way to make a living. “The Little Mermaid” with Helena Bonham Carter as Ursula, Johnny Depp as the Prince, etc., but set in the sewers of early 20th century New York. I JUST MADE DISNEY $300 MILLION DOLLARS.

Try to fall asleep tonight with this face burned into your retinas:

Q: NJG, will Megan Fox in “Jennifer’s Body” get me from 6 PM to Midnight?

-J. Rolinsgaminweiss, Tallahassee, FL

A: Yes.

Q: NJG, what’s the story with “Where the Wild Things Are”? I loved that book as a kid.

-G. Wilson, Compton, CA

A: Behind “Kick-Ass” this may very well be my second most anticipated movie that got a big reveal at Comic-Con 2009. I LOVED this book as a kid, and I think just about anyone who read it (or had it read to them) when they were younger loved it as well. And it really seems like Spike Jonze got this right. Watch the trailer and featurette here and try and tell me this movie doesn’t look incredible. I am so excited to see this, as it truly seems like it captured everything I felt when I would read this story as a lowercase g.

Q: Anything else worth talking about get any press coverage?

-N. Watson, Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada

A: There was some stuff about The Hobbit, Jonah Hex, Sherlock Holmes, District 9 all revealed at Comic-Con 2009, but nothing all that exciting. There was one thing that wasn’t talked about a whole lot in the coverage I read, but I am fairly interested in learning some more about:

Now, if you’ve seen the movie “Overnight”, it should completely AMAZE you that this movie has somehow managed to get made, but I am curious to check it out. I am not as big of a fan of “The Boondock Saints” as I once was (as I am fairly certain just about everyone my age would say), but this piques my interest.

And that is everything you need to know about 2009 Comic-Con. Hit up the comments with any (further) questions, comments, or general “what the hell do you know’s”.

Good to be back.