Creativity is King

As the resident old guy of this blog, it’s only right that I make the first EVER post about books on this blog. Because I am not in college, and therefore need to bide my time by doing things other than drinking and making out with chicks against the wall next to the bathroom in the back of Sal’s Bar, I’ve been able to discover a fucking awesome series of books that I highly recommend to anyone who likes to read about a complete badass fucking shit up.

Let me begin by saying I don’t watch “24″. The Jack Bauer Power Hour does nothing for me. I think it’s boring shit that is incredibly predictable and amazingly stupid. I think that “lone government agent single-handedly taking down entire terrorist groups/dictatorships/nations” has been done to death. (See also: the novels of Vince Flynn.)

I will also say that generally speaking, I don’t read fiction. I’ve always felt that there are so many amazing stories out there that are true that I’d just rather read those than something someone made up.

However, I will make exceptions when the situation calls for it.

A few months ago, I stumbled across an article that Stephen King wrote for Entertainment Weekly where he talks about chick lit (books written specifically for women) vs. “manfiction” (books written specifically for men). I think Stephen King is someone worth listening to when talking about the writers HE reads so I was pretty interested in what he had to say. Nothing really caught my eye though, until the last paragraph:

I saved the best for last. Lee Child’s tough but humane Jack Reacher is the coolest continuing series character now on offer. Reacher has also rescued his share of damsels in distress. He wanders the U.S., sometimes hitchhiking, more often riding buses. He dresses in cheap workingman’s duds bought in chain stores, pays cash, and (this is the part I really love) he used to carry only a toothbrush for luggage. He satisfies the most elemental male daydream, which is at bottom quite sweet: to ramble around and help out when help is needed. Possibly with a Beretta, a blowtorch, and a submachine gun.

A hobo who solves crimes with extreme violence?

SIGN. ME. UP.

After reading the first book, I was completely hooked. I am gonna give you a quick rundown of the character of Jack Reacher. If the following does not interest you, go back to reading Perez Hilton and What Would Tyler Durden Do. Also, fuck yourself.

Here’s the deal. Jack Reacher is a former military policeman. He spent 15+ years chasing deserters, criminals, etc. all over the world, was damn good at it, and received some of the best training the military has to offer. When he was discharged, he decided he didn’t want to settle down somewhere…he just wanted to be a bum. So that’s what he is. Spends a couple nights here and there, traveling all over the U.S. by bus, hitchhiking, by walking, whatever. Carries an ATM card and nothing else.

And he gets into adventures. These adventures are sometimes by pure happenstance, other times people come looking for him. And he is far and away the most badass, most merciless literary character I’ve ever encountered. If you mess with him, he will injure you in the most painful way possible or kill you outright. No fucking questions asked. And not only that, but he’ll probably take the money out of your wallet because he’s a HOBO, for god’s sake.  The guy does not get scared, does not mess around with night vision or automatic weapons or camoflauge, and does not somehow wind up assassinating the Prime Ministers of made-up African countries.

He will stab your brain with your nosebone (/prodigy) and think absolutely nothing of it. Stephen King says he’s “humane”–yeah, to all the women he gets busy with over the course of a novel. Remember that Dos Equis commercial about the most interesting man in the world? “He’s a lover, not a fighter, but he’s also a fighter, so don’t get any ideas.” That’s a pretty apt description of Jack Reacher.

If I haven’t sold you yet, I never will. Do yourself a favor…find this book and read the shit out of it:

If you like it, there’s about 10 others in the series that are just as good, if not better.

If you don’t like it, go check out “I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell” or whatever other bullshit you so desire.