Creativity is King

In lieu of the ridiculous amounts of media STILL surrounding Michael Phelp’s marijuana incident, I would like to share with you a few other famous individuals who have been fucked by the long dick of the law.  I have created a complex points system to rank the following based on a number of criteria I choose not to divulge. 

Without further adieu I would like to share with you all my top 5 list of celebrity marijuana arrests of all time:

5.  Byron “Bam” Morris

Former Pittsburgh Steeler, Bam Morris was caught with 6 pounds of marijuana in August of 2000. He admitted to distributing over 100 kilograms of marijuana between 1998 and 2000 in the Kansas City area and was sentenced to 30 months in prison.  What an honest man.

4.  Corey Blount (pronounced ‘blunt’) hmmm..

Here’s a good one, former Chicago Bull, Corey Blount was caught with 29 pounds of marijuana after police discovered 11 pounds being delivered to his house last December. The kicker?  Blount received the package through the US Postal Service.  I’m surprised he got caught too.

3.  Orlando Cepeda

Former San Francisco Giant and MVP award winner in 1967, was charged with smuggling 160 pounds of marijuana from Puerto Rico to Miami in 1976.  On May 1, 2007 California Highway Patrol officers arrested Cepeda after stopping a speeding car on westbound Interstate 80, about 40 miles northeast of San Francisco. An officer found marijuana, cocaine and hypodermic syringes in the car.  Whoops.   Oh yea, he’s in the Hall of Fame. 

2.  Fabolous

Arkansas Police seized nearly 500 lbs of marijuana on a tour bus returning from NBA All-Star Weekend in Phoenix, this week. According to the driver, the bus was allegedly escorting Fabolous to Boston to pick up “a rapper whose name he couldn’t recall.”   Really fabo? 500 pounds? On your bus?  I wonder how high the bus driver was that he was able to forget who they were driving across the country to meet.

1. Nate Newton

And the winner is…Fat Nate!  On November 4, 2001 Looking to expand his employment opportunities following his career as a  NFL offensive lineman, Nate Newton was arrested with 213 pounds of marijuana in his car. That alone could have landed him near the top but FIVE WEEKS later, yes five, he was caught transporting another 175 pounds of weed.  I guess some people never learn.  Or they learn but they’re too damn hungry to give a shit.

Honorable mention:Randy Moss for his hit and run incident in Minneapolis, MN.  Ricky Williams for failing a drug test and telling ESPN that, “Marijuana is 10 times better for me than Paxil.”

Don’t do drugs kids.