Making fun of random Nike colorways is practically like shooting fish in a barrel. For every Dunk Tiffany they have…they produce 5 of the above. However, this colorway got some blog airplay (www.sneakernews.com if you don’t believe me) and if the blogosphere is covering these…then dagnabbit us folks here at the JGCustoms blog are gonna steal some pics and info and cover it too.
Back to the shoe. Now, I know these are only being released in Europe, and it is my experience and understanding that those greasy foreigners (no offense to any European readers…I am referring mostly to Italians) love buying crazy-ass shoes in crazy-ass colors. So maybe Nike knows what they are doing, releasing these into the wild. However, that is no reason why us morbidly obese Americans (see what I did there?? America: 1, Europe: 1) can’t make fun of how unbelievably ugly those shoes are.
There is one outfit that those shoes would match. Yup, you guessed it.
Joseph’s amazing technicolor dreamcoat.
Not only are the colors a Roy G. Biv array of disgustingness, but there is some weird triangle design on there, vaguely reminiscent of a pre-1870s Navajo blanket:
Throw this in Photoshop, mess around with the Hue/Saturation a bit, apply it onto a Nike Tuned Air Max…and I bet you’d have something that looks exactly like the above disgrace to Air Maxes as a whole. Not to mention…what the hell do you need 5 pairs of laces for? One for each day of the work week? When you’re getting laughed at Monday, beaten up on Tuesday, by Wednesday…you’ll probably just wear a different pair of shoes altogether.
All right…I’m Silky Johnson’d out. The reason I take Nike to task more often than other brands is that people expect companies like Reebok to put out stupid-looking shoes in ugly colorways. Nike gets held to a higher standard (usually). So when they put out the above shoes, looking like a Math Exploration textbook threw up a chapter on geometric designs onto a shoe…I gotta say something.
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