So by now, I’m sure you’ve heard about Nike’s “Back to School” Dunks. Not a horrible idea…I assume they are mainly targeting the middle school/high school kids with these, and I’m sure they’ve sold relatively well. Let’s take a look at what we’ve seen so far:
Nike Dunks. Obvious inspired by all-too-familiar school notebooks. (Either that or the notebooks John Doe used in “Se7en”?!? That would be SWEET.)
Nike Vandals. Inspired by Crayola.
Nike Dunks. Wait, did I see the Vandals were inspired by Crayola? Then I guess these are REALLY inspired by Crayola.
What I’m saying is that even with the above…Nike isn’t taking it far enough! I want to see some truly, TRULY balls-out “back to school” themed shoe designs. I mean, yeah we all used markers, crayons, and notebooks at some point or another but let’s get into some niche shit! I want to see shoes inspired by stuff like this:
1) A fucking TRAPPER KEEPER. I’m not sure how they could be incorporated into a shoe design other than using the pattern or something (or a lot of velcro). The above one is too boring though. How about something like this:
YES.
2) LISA FRANK FOLDERS. And not just in women’s sizes either. If you can wear jeans that look like they’re made out of spandex, then dammit you can wear some Nike Dunks that have pink and purple unicorns and rubies and emeralds and shit on them. Or, of course, pink and purple…hot dogs and hamburgers(?)
They could get some KILLER gradients going on with something like this.
3) WEDGIES. Slightly more abstract, but I think there’s some serious potential here. Seeing as how there are probably a good percentage of hypebeasts that get made fun of on a daily basis anyways (i.e. Q: “Do those jeans come in men’s sizes, douchebag?” A: “Um these are Nudie Jeans, they are super awesome”), I think some wedgie-inspired shoes would be a perfect compliment. Maybe do it McFettridge Vandal style, and have underwear material tear off to reveal a pasty white skin color underneath!
4) TEXTBOOKS. They’ve done notebooks…why not do textbooks? Included on side panels and tongues would be high-quality scans of actual pages from college textbooks! Not only would this bring in the older crowd, but Nike could probably charge extra for these “Premium” shoes (to help pay for the rights to the classic work of Berg/Tymcozko/Stryer).
5) “BACK TO SCHOOL” STARRING RODNEY DANGERFIELD. Include the team logo for the Grand Lakes Hooters on the back panel!
That should be enough to get them started on the ‘09 colorways.
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